I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
