Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you made out with another girl for some wings
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
