i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
