You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
