people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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