problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
