There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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