If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
