apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
