I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
