She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
