So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
