in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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