I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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