We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
