I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
