She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
