PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
