Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
