watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
