sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
