Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
