oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
