I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
