there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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