I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
