I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
