stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
