It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
