gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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