i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
