who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She's not a foreskin expert like you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
