He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
