Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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