she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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