Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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