My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
