Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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