Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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