sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
