New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
