I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
