dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
