I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
