dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
