he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
