I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
