I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
