I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
