Where did you get a picture of my penis
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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