It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
