I want to have your abortion
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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