My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
