I don't usually arrange sex via text message
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
